To Malaysians, time to learn to live without maids!

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I REFER to the report in “Maids may snub Malaysia” (The Star, Dec 24, reproduced below).

People may wring their hands in despair now but bear in mind a litany of abuse cases and the fact that Malaysian workplace laws regarding maids have been dragged into the 21st century with better wages and conditions is too late.

People have justified for too long the treating of maids as second-class humans by claiming all sorts of benefits that they bring to these women.

In the report, it states “If maids chose not to come here, many women would either have to give up their careers or demand for more childcare centres”.

My sister in Australia has for the last 20 years worked in a full-time job, undertaken part-time university studies, raised three children, seen to my ageing father and ran a house.

All this she has done without a maid, housekeeper or cleaner.

She has not given up her career.

What she has gained from this are children who are emotionally intelligent, responsible, able to undertake tasks such as simple cooking, cleaning their bedrooms, washing the car, walking the dog and discovering that being part of family is learning to be responsible.

I know of countless Malaysian families in the same boat as my sister. The world will not end if maids don’t come.

GORDON REID Kuala Lumpur

Maids may snub Malaysia

By PATRICK LEE patrick.lee@thestar.com.my

PETALING JAYA: Malaysia may soon be the last choice of foreign domestic maids.

With other countries paying higher wages and the current low exchange rate of the ringgit, domestic maids may prefer to go elsewhere, warn economists.

RAM Holdings group chief economist Yeah Kim Leng said that although there would be a greater demand for maids, especially with an ageing population, it would be harder to hire them.

“Unless our income is able to keep up with the rising costs, fewer people will be able to afford maids,” he said.

He said that with improving economies in countries like Indonesia, Malaysia may no longer be viewed as a potential job market.

Yeah said more locals might have to work as maids and predicted a greater demand for outsourcing of domestic chores and daycare.

“The Government will have to look into an alternative for working parents,” he said.

Yeah was commenting on an announcement by Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak that both Malaysia and Indonesia had agreed to review the cost structure for recruiting maids.

There has been a trickle of Indonesian maids into the country despite the signing of an MoU between Malaysia and Indonesia on May 30 last year which set a RM4,511 agency fee for the hiring of maids.

The Malaysian Maid Employers Association (Mama) has since claimed that the cost structure was not sustainable as agents were reluctant to bring Indonesian maids into the country, leading to a shortage.

MIDF research chief economist Anthony Dass said locals would have to choose between paying more for their maids or not having any at all.

“If another country offers better (fees) for maids and agencies, why should they come here?” he said.

Dass said increased wages for maids would reduce Malaysians’ disposable incomes, especially if salaries do not go up.

He said if maids chose not to come here, many women would either have to give up their careers or demand for more childcare centres.

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How to reduce childcare costs?

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Tips to avoid falling into the parent trap of spending unnecessarily

 

THE patter of little feet around the house is always a joy but the addition of new family members into the household can be quite expensive and a financial strained if there is no planning.

Here’s how to avoid falling into the parent trap of spending unnecessarily and reducing your childcare costs.

Sharing the load 

The financial load of taking care of a child can always be better managed if both parents are working.

“The first thing one should do is to sit down and decide how the finances should be evenly distributed,” says financial adviser Wilson Low.

“Of course, it would be better if everything is determined some time before the child is born, rather than after,” he adds.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing, however, if only one of the two parents is working, says Low.

“If one parent is working, then the non-working one can stay at home and look after the children full-time. This can seriously help cut down on the cost of hiring a maid or babysitter.”

Buy what you only need

Adlina Hassan, a stay-at-home mother of three, says one should only focus on getting the bare essentials or “only what is necessary” when it comes to buying food or clothing for one’s children.

“There are a lot of products out there and I always like to compare. Many parents often get what their friends or neighbours buy but that shouldn’t always be the way. They could be better off than you and the items they buy may not be to your budget.

“Just get what is necessary and no need to keep up with the Joneses,” she says.

According to Melissa Ram, who is a proud new mother, buying in bulk can also be a cheaper option.

“Buying in bulk would be good when there are promotional items on offer. Buying goods online can also give you savings. I shop a lot online and compare pricing to get the best deal for what I want.”

However, when buying in bulk, one needs to ensure that the goods can be consumed in time.

“I would not buy food or milk in bulk as I’m very particular about the expiration dates and such. I once bought some cereal from a hypermarket and it was expired,” says Gowri Arumainathan, a mother of two.

Melissa also says she keeps a lookout for baby fairs where she believes one can get “really good deals.”

“Another option is to buy clothes in bigger sizes as children tend to grow very fast and outgrow their clothes in a short space of time.”

Gowri also says she prefers to purchase children’s goods, especially dairy products, from local sundry shops and mini-markets.

“It’s definitely cheaper, at least by a few ringgit, and I also notice that the stock moves fast. This way I know I’m getting new stock of milk or cereal that I need to buy. This even applies for diapers.

“When it comes to clothes, I tend to buy most of them from the open market. It’s cheaper and you’d be surprised by the quality of clothes you can find.”

Cooking your own meals

If you have the time to do it, then home-cooked food is always a cheaper option.

“I tend to make my children’s meals. It’s cheaper, fresh and I’m able to provide more variety to their food intake,” says Gowri.

Melissa, meanwhile, says: “In respect of the food, breastfeeding will save you a lot in the cost of milk! I also believe mothers should try to cook their own food for their children rather than to buy baby food off the rack.”

Getting extra help 

A lot of times, one needs to get extra assistance to look after their children. This could be a willing and able family member, such as a parent, or getting hired help like a maid or babysitter.

“The cheapest is surely to get your parents to look after. In our case, we have a long list of “babysitters” on hand, ranging from our parents, sister to aunties and cousins,” enthuses Melissa.

Gowri also concurs that getting a parent to look after your children is a cheaper option.

“Of course, getting a parent to look after the child is the most cost-efficient way. Especially with reports of how children are not looked after well at nurseries and day-care prices these days are all going sky high,” she says.

“It’s surely the cheapest option (being looked after by a parent) and you know your child’s well being is close to heart. However, at times, grandparents are often too old or unwell to run around after small kids,” Gowri adds.

With that in mind, she believes getting a maid is a better option when the child is a little older.

“Getting a maid is only an option to me if my child is bigger and able to inform me about the maid. Otherwise, I will not be able to trust my younger children with them. With all the stories you hear of what they can put in your food and do to a child, it makes you shudder to think your child’s health can be in harm’s way.

“Babysitters would be my next option. As they don’t take care of too many children at one time, you know you are getting a more personal touch. Day-cares are just too commercialised and can have too many children to look after. So the personalised care for your child is not there.”

Adlina believes getting students as babysitters is a cheaper option.

“Of course perhaps not as full-time babysitters but I always found that getting students to look after your children can be a cheaper option.

“Students are not so demanding. They’re usually looking for easy pocket-money and they’re usually quite happy with whatever you offer them, most of the time!”

By EUGENE MAHALINGAM eugenicz@thestar.com.my

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NUS terminates Alvin’s Asean scholarship over his Internet sexploits

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PETALING JAYA: The National University of Singapore has terminated sex blogger Alvin Tan’s scholarship over his Internet sexploits.

The National University of Singapore (NUS) has terminated the scholarship of sex blogger Alvin Tan. –ST PHOTO: DESMOND FOO

The prestigious university, however, stopped short of expelling the 24-year-old from law school but he will have to pay full non-subsidised fees as a foreign student should he resume studies, reported Singapore Straits Times, quoting unnamed sources.

Tan was an Asean scholar and had been on “leave of absence” from his classes for almost a year when he started uploading pornographic pictures and videos of himself and his girlfriend Vivian Lee on a blog titled “Sumptuous Erotica”.

Tan has refused to comment on the university’s decision. “I’m sorry but I can’t comment. I’m bound by a confidentiality agreement,” he said.

The university has also kept mum, with the spokesman stating that the school’s disciplinary proceedings were confidential.

An estimate shows that it may have cost the Singapore go­­­vernment – the benefactor of the Asean scholarship programme – at least RM275,000 to fund all of Tan’s seven years of study in the city state.

The highly prestigious scholarship is awarded to only 170 undergraduates from nine Asean countries annually. It covers tuition fees, accommodation and also provides an allowance for the recipients.

Last week, after deciding on the punishment, the university said Tan’s actions were “inappropriate and was detrimental to the reputation and dignity of the university”.

Singapore Education Minister Heng Swee Keat also told Parliament on Monday that Tan’s behaviour was “reprehensible and unbecoming of a scholar”.

Tan said he apologised to the university during the disciplinary hearing on Oct 31.

Meanwhile, both he and Lee have deleted all of their Facebook posts referring to the blog.

By REGINA LEE The Star/Asia News Network

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Childcare services: daycare and private nursery businesses

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Working couples hit by childcare costs

PETALING JAYA: It’s a double whammy for working couples with children maids are hard to find while daycare centres have increased their fees in tandem with higher operation costs.

A check with several centres in the Klang Valley showed that they have raised fees by up to 10% over the past two years.

A staff member at a centre in Bukit Damansara, who declined to be named, said that it had to increase its fees by 10% every two to three years.

The centre, which also offers pre-school education inclusive of daycare for children aged three to six years, now charges about RM1,600 per month.

Another centre in Taman Desa, which offers only daycare for children of two years and above without pre-schooling, charges RM500 a month.

“We charged RM450 last year, but had to increase our fees because food prices had gone up,” said the principal who only wanted to be known as Stacey.

A centre in Puchong has maintained its fees at RM500 per month, but expects to raise it soon.

The centre provides lunch and two snacks, a shower in the evening and assistance with school work for the children under its care.

“We will try to hold down our fees for as long as we can, but foresee having to increase it soon as everything else is going up in price,” said its operator.

Demand for childcare centres in the Klang Valley is especially acute as many families have both spouses working while living away from their parents and relatives.

The scarcity of maids has contributed to the increase in demand.

It was reported recently that agencies were asking Malaysians to pay more for maids from Indonesia even as the Philippines was phasing out the sending of its citizens abroad as domestic workers.

Association of Registered Child-care Providers P.H. Wong said the centres had been affected by the increase in living costs as the price of goods had gone up along with public expectation of the quality of service.

“Parents who want quality service must be ready to pay more. Centres have no choice but to increase their fees to survive,” she said.

She urged the Government to introduce a subsidy for parents who need to care for their children while they were at work.

The Health Ministry had announced stricter control of daycare centres, with regular inspection of nurseries to ensure that they are fit to take care of babies in the wake of deaths from choking on milk and other incidents at these establishments.

Social Welfare Department statistics this year showed that 52% of the 3,238 nurseries nationwide were unlicensed.

However, there is no record of the number of children who died while under their care.

According to news reports, at least 22 children under the age of four were believed to have died while in nursery care between 2009 and this year.

By YVONNE LIM yvonnelim@thestar.com.my

 

Private nurseries struggle to stay in business

PETALING JAYA: About three million children aged four and below need daycare services in this country but many private nurseries are struggling to keep their doors open.

Association of Registered Child Care Providers Malaysia vice-president P.H. Wong said the Government should extend support to private childcare centres because of high operating costs.

As of May this year, 1,086 childcare centres had been registered with the Welfare Department: 989 were privately run, 16 set up by companies at work places, 67 in government offices and 14 were community-based.

Even for community-based childcare centres, there were few takers despite the RM50,000 set-up grant and annual RM64,000 subsidy given by the Government, Wong said.

This was because the subsidy barely covered operating costs since lower income parents could only afford to pay RM200 to RM350 for each child, she added.

A former childcare centre owner, who wanted to be known only as Cheong, said she closed her centre in Sri Petaling last month after operating for more than two years because the RM600 to RM800 monthly fees she collected from 14 parents could not cover the monthly expenses.

“It was really heartbreaking. I don’t want to do it (run a centre) again,” said the 36-year-old.

She could not continue paying the RM3,000 rental for a corner unit house, pay providers’ salaries, food, beverage and toys for the children, and utility bills, said Chong who spent RM25,000 to set up the centre.

She also had difficulty looking for care providers because the heavy workload made people reluctant to take the job even if she offered more than the RM1,000 to RM1,600 salaries.

Social Welfare Department legal and advocacy division director Dr Zaitol Salleh said that two nurseries had surrendered their licences from January to May, and on average five cease to operate each year.

Another childcare centre operator, who only wanted to be known as Ooi, said she had to close her nursery in a condominium after operating it for seven years because she could not get baby sitters.

“Most baby sitters prefer to work on their own at home while the young people prefer other jobs,” said Ooi, who is in her 50s.

By LOH FOON FONG  foonfong@thestar.com.my

Open sex couple: pay back scholarship, marry or get thrown out of family?

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After a week’s euphoria of being in the limelight, the sex blog couple is now facing the hard reality. Alvin Tan has been summoned by National University of Singapore to a disciplinary hearing on Oct 31 and may have to pay back his scholarship while Vivian Lee has been given an ultimatum – marry Alvin or get thrown out of the family house.

PETALING JAYA: They have become outrageously famous in a week but the consequences of having a scandalous sex blog are starting to set in for Alvin Tan and Vivian Lee.

Lee, 23, may be kicked out of her family home after “Sumptuous Erotica”, the blog she shared with Tan, 24, made the headlines in several newspapers here and in Singapore.

“My mother gave me an ultimatum marry him or move out within a month,” she said, adding that she was “a little scared” about the prospect.

She had just graduated with a marketing degree from Multimedia University and is living in Johor Baru with her mother and elder brother.

Tan has been spending leave of absence from the National University of Singapore (NUS) by being with his parents here and his rented apartment in Kuala Lumpur. This leave is unrelated to the sex blog.

Lee said with the slim probability of marrying Tan, as both considered themselves young and not committed to each other monogamously, she might just end up moving in with him.

“I think she can depend on me. I think I can provide financially,” said Tan during a lengthy interview with The Star Media Group here yesterday.

Both said that Lee’s distraught and widowed mother had been trying to contact Tan to rebuke him but he did not answer her calls.

“My mother also scolded me and pleaded with me to not give any more press interviews,” said Lee. “But I guess I’m going against that, too.”

As for Tan, an Asean scholar reading law, he faces possible expulsion from NUS besides having his expensive scholarship revoked after his and Lee’s nude pictures and sex videos hogged the headlines in the republic.

But he said he did not see it as a “big thing” if the university sacked him and instead, appears to have set his sights on gaining more infamy.

Both Tan and Lee want to break into show business and did not rule out the possibility of becoming actors.

They also revealed that sharing the intimate photos and videos on the Internet were “a mutual idea”. It was Lee who coaxed Tan into capturing the nude clips of each other.

“We started taking the nude shots the second time we met up,” said Tan. “We were fooling around in a hotel in Penang while on holiday and she was totally naked.

“She asked me if I wanted to take her picture and I was game for it,” said Tan, who said he had not gone as far in sexual experimentation with his past girlfriends.

“Most are cowards. OK, I take that back. They are unadventurous,” he said, adding that calling oneself “adventurous” was self-serving.

“Doing things like bungee-jumping or skydiving is pretty standard stuff,” he said. “I want to hang out with people who have done things that are unprecedented.”

Catch the pre-recorded interview with the couple on Red FM (104.9) and Capital FM (88.9) at 2pm today.
Listeners in the Klang Valley can also tune in to Chinese station 988 FM (98.8) at 7.30am on Tuesday.

The Star media group’s radio stations Red FM, Capital FM and 988 FM grilled sex bloggers Alvin Tan and Vivian Lee. Some of the topics include:

- How they met and his obsession with women named “Vivian”.
“Alvin has a fetish for the name Vivian. We met through a mutual friend on Facebook, and Alvin just added me.” – Vivian
-
- On recording sex videos.

“It is actually a lot more rehearsed. The more passionate sex that we have is not recorded. It is actually like work.” – Alvin

- What if it were their kids putting up sex videos?

“I wouldn’t encourage them directly, but I will encourage them to develop whatever that they are talented or interested in.” – Alvin

- Does he regret any of this?

“We will only regret the things that we don’t do. Twenty years from now, I will look back to my 20s and think that I was so awesome.” – Alvin

By REGINA LEE The Star/Asia News Network

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China’s ‘most dangerous man’ shot dead near mum’s home

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After an eight-year manhunt across four provinces involving tens of thousands of police officers, China‘s most-wanted criminal was shot dead yesterday, 14 kilometres from his mother’s home.

Zhou Kehua, 42, was cornered in an alley behind a shoe shop in the central city of Chongqing and opened fire. He was shot in the head at close range. At least one policeman was “lightly injured” in the gun battle.

After so many murders, he knew he would get the death penalty, so there was no moral struggle in his mind.

Zhou had been on the run since 2004, evading capture despite being the target of one of the largest manhunts mounted in China.

Eight years on the run … Zhou Kehua appears on a wanted poster. Photo: AFP

By the end, the combined value of all the rewards placed on his head had risen to 5.4 million yuan ($AU800,000) and wanted posters had been pinned up as far afield as Shanghai, more than 1600 kilometres from his home.

Gun crime is extremely rare in China, where firearms are strictly controlled, but Zhou had killed a total of nine people, including one policeman, in a series of armed robberies.He went for bank customers withdrawing large sums of cash, following his victims and shooting them in the head before making a swift getaway.

“He remained very calm after the murders and would decide the quickest way to escape,” said Pi Yijun, a criminologist at China University of Political Science and Law in Beijing. “He would do his homework by staying at a bank and observing its customers, working out the best place to strike. After so many murders, he knew he would get the death penalty, so there was no moral struggle in his mind.”

Zhou would lie low for long periods, disappearing at one stage for more than four years, between 2005 and 2009.

He resurfaced last Friday for the first time since January, killing a woman outside a branch of the Bank of China in Shapingba, a district of Chongqing.

The local authorities quickly mounted an enormous manhunt, calling back all police on leave and mobilising the local army. However, after combing Gele Mountain, only a ragged green T-shirt and two cigarette cartons were found. China Central Television (CCTV) said it was thought that the manhunt, which was widely publicised in the media, had been a ruse to give Zhou a false sense of security.

In fact, he had been spotted in a department store in Chongqing on August 11, leading police to believe he had remained close to the scene of his last crime, rather than retreating to his mountain hideout.

Quietly, four-man teams of plain-clothes police moved through the city to track him down. Eventually a resident in Tongjiaqiao, near his mother’s home, reported him to the police yesterday morning, collecting a 600,000 yuan reward. Zhou’s father died last August, but his mother lives in a three-storey house and has been under constant surveillance since January.

His ex-wife lives in a neighbouring town with their 13-year-old son. Zhou is thought to have visited them at the beginning of the year after committing a murder and stealing 200,000 yuan in Nanjing.

Two Chinese newspapers disputed the account of Zhou’s final moments.

The Chongqing Times said he had committed suicide and the police had merely found his body.

The Changsha Evening News, however, said that he had turned the gun on himself after being shot twice by police.

The Telegraph, London Newscribe : get free news in real time

Honey, I spoiled the kids!

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We raise our children with the best of intentions but somehow end up mollycoddling them, to their detriment.

THE shortage of domestic servants in Malaysia gets worse every year, driving people urgently needing their services crazy with exasperation.”

That was the opening sentence in a report in The Star published on March 4, 1976. As the song goes, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Uh huh.

Thirty-six years on, we are still facing a shortage, although “domestic servants” have morphed into “domestic workers” a.k.a. “maids” of foreign origin.

Let’s see, in 1976, I was in secondary school and sharing household and cooking chores with my sisters. We had long dispensed with the services of a servant/maid. When the last local woman who did our laundry became unreliable, my parents bought our first washing machine and that was it.

Going further back, we had a mother-and-daughter team who did the laundry and cleaned house as well. Actually the daughter, Bedah, was more our playmate. We had fun playing hide-and-seek and masak-masak in the wooden doll-house my dad built.

And when I was a very little girl living in Penang, my mum had a young live-in servant. Poor Ah Hong had a hard time managing my unruly brother, who slashed her arm with a butter knife after a nasty spat. After we moved to Kuala Lumpur, we lost touch with her.

For most of my growing years, my family was fortunate enough to have domestic help who did the heavy-duty stuff. But we kids still had our chores: washing our school shoes, taking out the garbage, weeding the garden and mowing the lawn. One chore which I really hated was peeling and cleaning prawns as I would always end up with bleeding fingers.

When we were in-between servants (we never called them maids in those days), we did the sweeping, mopping, windows, fans, bathrooms and, the most back-breaking of all, the laundry by hand.

I also learned how to hammer nails, saw wood, change light bulbs, use an electric drill, paint walls and fences, build chicken coops, dig wells and even mix cement from my extremely clever handyman dad.

So where did I go so wrong with my own kids?

Do I blame it on the fact that both my husband and I work and we had no time nor the energy to mend and clean on the weekends, leaving it all to the maid, thereby setting a poor example to my kids?

Do I excuse myself that middle class families mollycoddle their children in these prosperous times?

Whatever the reason, I stand guilty of raising children who are inadequately skilled in a lot of things my generation took for granted or were expected to know.

Mind you, they are great kids. They never did drugs nor partied excessively; never got me summoned to school over their grades or discipline problems. As adults, they are articulate and interesting individuals. They are respectful and caring towards their grandparents who live with us.

Yet, they have never toiled at anything in the house and won’t even wash their own cups simply because they grew up with maids who did everything for them.

But to be fair to them, the rot started earlier. By “rot”, I mean the diminishing ability to be self-reliant in keeping one’s house in order without external help.

Because Dad could build, mend and repair just about anything and Mum was an excellent cook and extremely house-proud, between them, my siblings and I were taught a lot of skills.

My husband, on the other hand, isn’t as handy. His answer to fixing anything is super glue. Despite my childhood training, I haven’t applied my skills much either. I quite happily gave up gardening when my lawn-mower broke down,

Fortunately, we can enlist the services of a gardener, plumber or electrician to fix whatever stuff that goes on the blink because they are affordable.

And for now, a maid.

With all these support services, our lives are really easy and comfortable. The downside is today’s convenient ways have made us soft, lazy and wasteful.

Yet, things are changing. If 36 years ago, we moaned the extinction of local servants, now we moan about the availability of foreign maids.

The news isn’t good. No matter how hard our Government is trying to re-establish the supply line from Indonesia, the fact remains that Malaysia is not the first choice for such workers.

What’s more, the countries that have long supplied us with cheap labour are enjoying economic growth and with it better job opportunities for their people.

For now, we can take pride that almost any middle class family can hire a maid. In the not-too-distant future, it may not be the case any more. Already, the agency fees and the salaries are getting painfully high.

Ironically, the richer and more developed a country, the more expensive hired help is. So in countries like Australia, the United States and Britain, DIY stores are huge business because there they don’t call in the plumber or electrician at the slightest trouble. Live-in maids are only for the wealthy.

In all likelihood, the time my daughters marry, they will have to figure out how to keep house and raise kids without a live-in maid.

My son? He sheepishly admitted he didn’t know how to sew a loose button or a tear in his pants. For the sake of my future daughter-in-law and grandchildren, I have decided he’s going to start becoming a bit more like grandpa.

It starts this Saturday when my Indonesian maid goes on home leave for Hari Raya. As they say, “Necessity is the mother of invention” so this mother who has been terribly remiss with her children’s basic life skills, is going to invent some necessity on the home front.

More importantly, better late than never, especially when we still have clever grandpa to teach the kids a handy tip or two. No super glue for them.

So Aunty, So What? By JUNE H.L. WONG

> The writer, if she could turn back time, would certainly have done some things differently in the way she raised her kids. On a more cheerful note, Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri!

Don’t Want Your Adult Children Back Home? Here’s An Alternative

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keith’s child support (Photo credit: Sean Durham)

Everybody knows that many families moved in together to help each other out during the Great Recession, but new data from the U.S. Census bureau highlights another approach: handouts to family members to help them make it on their own. Call it allowance for grown-ups. To the tune of $567 a month on average.

About 2.1 million “providers” supported people other than their children under 21 who didn’t live with them in 2010, according to U.S. Census statistics in Support Providers: 2010. While 32% of these folks supported their parents, 34% supported their adult children (21 and older). On average they handed over $6,809 in 2010. That works out to $567 a month–like another car payment. By comparison, 4.8 million parents paid out an average $5,140 in child support to children under 21 in 2010. That works out to $428 a month.

The providers who are helping extended family members had an average family income of $83,250. (Providers who support children under 21 had an average family income of $57,000.) While most (70%) support one additional adult, 22% support 2 people and 8% support 3 or more people.

The statistics come from a national survey about the social and economic well-being of individuals and households. A prior survey in 2005 also showed 2.1 million providers supporting those other than children under 21, at an average of $5,329 or $444 a month. But then only 26%–compared to 34% now– were supporting children 21 and older.

Three-quarters of these adult children being supported live in a private home or apartment (as opposed to another setting like a college campus). Luxury? Maybe compared to the reality of young adults moving back home.

The Census Bureau confirmed the house share trend in another recent report, Sharing A Household: Household Composition and Economic Well-Being: 2007-2010. That report found that shared households increased 11.4% from 2007 to 2010 for a total of 22 million shared households, with individuals aged 25 to 34 making up 45% of the increase in additional adults per household. An additional adult was defined as an adult 18 or older, not enrolled in school, and neither the head of the house, the spouse or a cohabiting partner of the head of the house.

Would you rather move back home or get a handout?

Ashlea Ebeling, Forbes Staff

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Mums top list of child abusers

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KUALA LUMPUR: In a surprising finding, the highest number of child abusers turn out to be the hand that rocks the cradle the victim’s mother.

Deputy Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datuk Heng Seai Kie said statistics from the past three years had revealed that most child abusers were parents themselves and in particular, mothers.

“Mothers make up 25.4% of perpetrators in child abuse cases while 18.9% are fathers.

“Together, parents comprise 44.3% of child abusers in incidents recorded nationwide last year,” she said in her speech at the third national conference of the Association of Registered Child Care Providers Malaysia here yesterday.

Heng said the third largest number of child abusers at 11% of the total number of cases were the lovers of teenage victims.

Children are defined by the ministry as those aged below 18.

Parents should learn to strike a balance between work and parental responsibilities, she said.

Heng also revealed that child abuse statistics from Selangor and Kuala Lumpur were constantly above 50% of the total number of cases in the country.

On another matter, she said the ministry hoped to increase the percentage of children enrolled in child care centres from the current 4% to 25% by 2020.

“This is in line with the Government’s policy of encouraging the participation of women in the workforce.

“One of our objectives is to increase the number of women from the current 41% to at least 55% of the total workforce by 2015,” said Heng, adding that a major challenge facing women who wanted a career was their responsibility towards their children.

She added that to set up more child care centres, the Government had offered incentives to corporate bodies and government agencies to establish such facilities at the workplace.

Heng said a RM200,000 incentive was given to government agencies while private companies were offered a tax deduction of 10% from their annual income for 10 years by the Finance Ministry to set up child care centres.

Early Child Care and Education Council assistant treasurer Shamsinah Shariff said it would encourage housing developers to set aside land to build child care centres and kindergartens at residential areas.

By YUEN MEIKENG  meikeng@thestar.com.my 

Are you raising selfish kids?

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Most children are egocentric, more so in these modern times. There are ways to get them to see the world beyond themselves.

YOU often hear parents complaining about how today’s children are not as obedient, thoughtful and polite as those of previous generations.

This is especially true in Generation Y and Z kids, who are also known as “Generation Me”. Generation Y and Z includes those born in the digital age and who have been familiar with using smartphones, the Internet and digital gadgets from a young age. There are varying opinions on when exactly the generation began. Some say those born in the 1980s onwards while others point to the 1990s or even the noughties.

Gen Y and Z children have a greater sense of entitlement, demand for instant gratification and generally disregard others’ needs. In simpler terms, they appear to be more selfish than kids in generations before them. It used to be family first, community’s interests, and country’s pride. Now, it is “me” first.

 Get this: The GoGetter — Land & Water puzzle will be yours if you come up with the best story on ‘Games/puzzles my kids love to play’ for June.

With all manner of advertising being thrown at us these days, it is not surprising that children don’t always know how to separate wants and needs. They seem to think they need a lot of things, with some even believing they have the right to demand for materialistic possessions. Parents who overindulge their children will give them the impression that they are entitled to these luxuries.

If a child is selfish in nature, he or she will not know how to care for others and this will eventually lead to social and relationship problems.

ParenThots shares some methods to ensure your child sees the world beyond himself or herself.

Book reviews

Geronimo Stilton is the Famous Five of the 21st century. The comforting news is that the English in the book series is sound, the stories set in various countries offer lessons in Geography and culture, and at least your kids are reading! Definitely recommended.

Childhood Allergies is written simply so that parents can get a clear idea of what allergies are about and what symptoms to look out for.

Bully stories

There are quite a few bully stories this week, including one from a man in his 60s who says he still can’t forget what happened when he was six years old as well as a letter to bullies from a former victim.

The voting for the best bully stories ends tomorrow. So, do click on Like at the end of the story or on the post about your favourite bully story on the ParenThots Facebook page (facebook.com/parenthots).

Father’s Day contest

This is the last week to win a netbook computer for your dad through the Dad Deserves An Asus contest. Just log in using your Mystar ID, answer the three objective questions and complete the sentence: “Dad needs an Asus netbook because …”

You can enter to win for your husband, father or even yourself (if you are a father). The prize should go to a father. We will check!

The contest closes June 3.

Win a puzzle

If your child loves puzzles and games, you will want to know about the Win A Puzzle promotion. Just write in about the topic of the month (the topic changes every month) and you stand a chance to win a puzzle. There is only one puzzle to be won every month. The puzzles are sponsored by educational toys company BRAINet.

For June, the title to write on is “Games/puzzles my kids love to play” and the word limit is 700. The prize for June is the GoGetter – Land & Water.

The last day to send in entries is June 20. Go to ParenThots for more details.

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Feb 17, 2011

Rightways: A young challenge for the lawmen

Oct 18, 2010