72% of women consider housing as a key requirement for a marriage partner, says the latest report of the Chinese Marriage Status Survey 2014, issued by China’s leading marriage service provider Baihe.com on Jan.11, 2015.
Researchers collected the results of 73,215 online questionnaires and held in-depth off-line interviews with 200 single men and women from 34 provinces, municipalities and autonomous regions.
Why still single?
The report shows that 63% of single men and women spend an average of more than six hours alone on their rest days; and 32% spend more than 10 hours alone. Surfing the internet, hanging out with friends, and just “quietly” staying at home have become the top three activities for single people.
32% of single women follow TV dramas while 67% of men scan websites, killing their private time at home.
The report concludes that the main reasons for remaining single is too much time spent alone – too few social contacts is the top obstacle to meeting the right person. 80% of single women report this.
Gender differences in marriage requirements
Nowadays, love is no longer the only passport for two people to enter marriage. The report says that more than 40% of single men and women are only willing to get married with a person in a suitable situation. People are becoming ever more rational and realistic when choosing their spouses.
The top three concerns for single men are appearance, physical health, and emotional experience. Single women attach more importance to a partner’s financial situation, physical health, and career.
33% of single men and 27% of single women have experienced interference from parents in their relationships.
Focus on housing
The report shows that 71% of women view housing as a key requirement for a potential marriage partner. 18% of women counted car ownership as one of the basic requirements, a rise of 9% compared with 2012. Both men and women said that a stable income and some savings were important factors.
Nearly 60 percent of women do not intend to have a second child, according to the report, although China has relaxed its birth control policy to allow couples to have a second child if either parent is an only child.
The report also shows that 33% of women think that Chinese men do not deserve Chinese women, in terms of “self-accomplishments and ability to care for themselves.” – (People’s Daily Online)
The logical search for a mate
‘Love’ takes a back seat when seeking prospective life partners
LOVE is not the only criterion for marriage in China. A recent survey shows that more than 40% of Chinese look to marry someone who suits them in appearance, educational background, social status, income and other characteristics.
Baihe.com, a major dating portal in China, released its 2014 Chinese Marriage Status Survey Report on Sunday.
The site has tracked marriage trends in the country since 2007.
The latest results show that 44.4% of male and 49.7% of female respondents said the reasons for their choice of a marriage partner include their prospective mate’s coming from a family of equal social rank.
“This means people are much more rational when it comes to the marriage decision,” the report said.
“They would like to match each other under every single standard. Love is no longer the only pass.”
The report also said that more than 70% of female respondents said they would consider marriage only if the male partner owns property.
And more than 70% of the women hoped their future husband’s income would be double their own.
Zhou Xiaopeng, the chief marriage consultant at Baihe.com, characterised the phenomenon as “supermarket marriage”, where people come with “money in hand” and want to select the best “products” after shopping around.
Tu Ying, a researcher at the portal, said that seeking a partner with quantifiable requirements is efficient.
“In everyday life, it is more and more difficult to find the right person and get to know him or her – not to mention the cost it comes with,” Tu said. “If people start with quantifiable standards, and then develop their relationship based on that, it is more likely to be a stable relationship.
“Starting marriage with money cannot guarantee stability from the beginning.
“Every relationship needs cultivation from each side.”
Zhou Xiaozheng, a professor of sociology at Renmin University of China, attributes the new approach to marriage choices to changes in society.
“Chinese people’s view of choosing a mate has undergone many changes,” Zhou said.
“In the past, marriage was arranged by parents, which reflected the will of family or country. Then it became a personal choice, or socalled love choice. And now it is more related to material standards, or what we call materialism in marriage.”
“This is simply because people live in a materialistic world: A couple needs an apartment to live in, which costs a lot; the couple needs to find a good school for their children, which costs a lot; the couple who live far away from their parents need to find a way to support them, which also costs a lot,” Zhou said. “It is a vicious circle.”
Zhou said to reverse the materialistic trend, the country needs to continue its anti-corruption campaign and improve social welfare, and young people need to know that money is not the solution to everything. – China Daily/Asia News Network
Why do you need to know your heart rate? What heart rate zone will give you the absolute BEST results for fat burning from your cardio?
I was recently inspired to write this article on heart rates in relation to fitness due to the numerous questions I have received lately about it, and the importance of knowing what it is, and why. Even though the heart rate is a huge element to achieving an optimal workout, and its been around forever, many individuals do not know what theirs is, or how to measure it, or even to care about it. So I am going to clarify this simple yet important component to fitness.
Resting, Exercise and Maximum
Heart Rates There are three HR to consider when training to get fit, or as it relates to cardiovascular fitness, as well as your Target Zone.
The first is the Resting HR. This is your HR when you are not engaging in any physical activity that elevates it, or when you are in a resting state such as sleep. As you become more fit, this number will decrease because your heart and lungs have become stronger. The heart is then able to pump more blood, which is called stroke volume, throughout the body with less effort. The lungs are able to pull in more oxygen, which is called maximum oxygen uptake, with less effort, which means more blood and oxygen to the working muscles makes up the endurance portion of being fit. Having enough oxygen going into the blood keeps the lactic acid out-thus you can sustain a prolonged aerobic workout.
A normal Resting HR can vary as low as 40 BPM to as high as 100 BPM. 70 BPM is usually the average for a man, and 75 BPM is average for a woman. The Resting HR should be used as an index to improve your cardiovascular fitness level, with a focus on decreasing it. The best time to measure your Resting HR is when you first arise from sleep in the morning. The palpation (beats) of the Radial Pulse is accurately measured in your wrist in line with the base of your thumb. Place the tips of your index and middle fingers over the Radial Artery and apply a light pressure to it. DO NOT USE YOUR THUMB. It has a pulse of it’s own. You may count the beats for one full minute to get the HR, or for 30 seconds and multiply by 2 for the number of BPM.
The Second is the Exercise HR. This is the rate at which your body is in motion from a sustained exercise, and the rate increases. Of course you measure it during exercise. The goal here is to stay within your Target HR Range or Zone, which is normally between 75% to 85% of your Maximum HR which is the third. Maximum HR is the rate at which your heart beats at 100% Max. during a sustained aerobic activity. You never want to work at 100% of your Max. HR unless a professional has you on a specific program designed for that, and your fitness level can sustain it. 100% of Max. will cause you to cross over into an Anaerobic Threshold. These numbers can vary depending on your age and fitness level.
The Exercise Pulse is most accurately palpated at the larger Carotid Artery on the side of the neck. It is usually located beside the larynx. Place your index and middle fingers alongside the base of your ear lobe and slide it down to the side of your throat and apply a light pressure. DO NOT apply a heavy pressure to the Carotid Artery when measuring your Exercise HR. These arteries contain Baroreceptors that sense increases in pressure and will respond by slowing down your HR. You will feel this pulse easily during a workout, so heavy pressure is not needed to locate it. The Exercise HR should be taken for 10 seconds, always counting the first beat as “0,” then multiply by 6. This number is your Exercise HR. Which brings me to the point of all of this information.
For Determining Your Max Heart Rate
To determine your Maximum HR, use the calculators below. The simple formula: Take 220 and minus your age which is accurate to approximately +15 BPM. You then take that number and multiply it by .75 – .85, which will give you your percentages of 75% — 85% of your Max. HR. This is the Target Range or Zone that you want to stay in when doing any type of cardiovascular (aerobic) activity. When in this range your body is getting an optimum workout with maximum benefit, and it stays in a Fat Burning mode.
There are two different ways to calculate your maximum heart rate and your target heart rates. The method I just explained is the simple method.
Simple Target Heart Rate Calculator
Using the 220 – Age formula.
HEART RATE CALCULATOR
Enter Your Age
Max Heart Rate
75-85% Max Heart Rate
THR 15 sec count
The Karvonnen formula is more advanced since it also takes into account your resting heart rate. This is your heart rate at complete rest. To determine this, take your pulse for 60 seconds just before you get out of bed… or take it for 30 seconds and multiply by 2.
Advanced Target Heart Rate Calculator
Using the Karvonen Formula.
For your age, use a whole year. (Between 0 and 100)
Put your Resting Heart Rate in the next box. (Between 30 and 100)
In the % box, use a number between 50 and 85. Do not include the %.
Click on the Calculate button, and it will calculate your target heart rate or that percentage.
Your Age in Years
Resting Heart Rate
% of Maximum Effort
Your Target Heart Rate
When you start to work over these percentages, not unless you are in great shape and can push yourself into a higher range, then you have gone into an Anaerobic Threshold. Which means that you are pushing yourself way too hard, and no healthy benefits are being obtained. You are defeating your purpose. If you push yourself into an Anaerobic Threshold your body can no longer meet its demand for oxygen. You will start to feel exhausted, your HR increases above the Max. (which is 100%), you will stop the fat burning process, and you will start to hyperventilate due to the excessive amounts of lactic acid in your body. In other words, you are not pulling in enough clean oxygen through the lungs to clean it out of the blood. Your heart can no longer pump enough blood to your working muscles to sustain your activity, and you are overloading yourself. You prevent this from happening by staying in your Target HR Range. As you become more fit, you can push yourself into a higher range without going over into the Anaerobic Threshold. The purpose of this article is to give you insight to perceive that, and always know where you are in your range or zone when working out.
AN FYIRemember that Aerobic means “with oxygen,” and Anaerobic means “without oxygen.” Aerobic exercise is training at a certain level of intensity for a sustained period of time, usually 20 minutes to 1 hour as on a stair-climber, treadmill, or in an aerobics class. You need oxygen rich blood to maintain this.
Anaerobic exercise is training at a level of intensity that does not require a sustained period of time, usually 30 seconds to 1 minute. Such as weight training, strength circuit, circuit and interval training sessions when sets/reps are involved. Because the time period is shorter and faster in cases of intervals and circuits, you use all of the oxygen rich blood more quickly to complete your sets/reps before lactic acid causes you to stop the exercise. That’s what “The Burn” means. Then you take a break so the blood can be cleaned of lactic acid and you catch your breath before your next set.
One more element to consider is the Rating of Perceived Exertion Scale. This scale provides a standard means for evaluating your perception of your exercise intensity. You can use this scale on a 1 – 10 basis with 1 being “very very easy,” and 10 being “very very hard.” If you’re like me, I don’t like to stop during my aerobic exercise sessions to measure my HR, so I use this scale to measure where I am in my Target Range. I know how I feel at 75% — 95% of my Maximum HR, so I can either increase or decrease my intensity before I cross over into an Anaerobic Threshold, and maintain my work out and Fat Burning process. If you are going to use this scale, make sure that you too know how you feel at 75% — 85% of your Max. HR so that your perception is accurate on this scale.
Working out in the Target Zone helps me get lean!
(Editor’s Note: This pic gets MY heart going.)
Knowing this simple information will help you greatly in evaluating your progress when training to get fit, or when training to compete. You can develop your training sessions and know what you need to change or add in your program by being in tune to your Heart Rate. Always be aware that you are in THE ZONE!
Work to stretch and strengthen your body for 30 minutes, and you will pump up your heart
Run For Heart Health!
Unless you live on another planet or under a rock, you probably know by now how important exercise is to overall fitness and heart health.
It is a message that is hard to escape these days. There is plenty of research to suggest that exercise can reduce the risk of heart disease, stroke and some cancers.
It can also help lower high blood pressure and lift your mood. And it has been shown to improve self-esteem and help with weight loss.
Yet despite the many studies backing the role exercise plays in heart health, a lot of adults aren’t listening. Two-thirds of them are considered overweight and one-third fall into the obese category with a body mass index over 30.
For many, getting fit and healthy might seem like an unachievable goal, but experts say you don’t have to spend hours in the gym to see the benefits of exercise.
A minimum of 30 minutes of cardio exercise can do the trick.
“It doesn’t matter what type, as long as you do it,” said Dr. Daniel Clearfield, Cowtown Medical director and a sports medicine and primary-care physician.
“Ideally, you should do it five days a week but even two is beneficial.”
Casual exercising is not going to do the trick, said Dr. Benjamin Levine, director of the Institute of Exercise and Environmental Medicine at UT Southwestern Medical Center and Texas Health Resources.
It has to be something that you are committed to doing on a regular basis.
“Exercise should be part of hygiene, just like brushing your teeth,” said Levine, who is also a professor of medicine and cardiology at UT Southwestern Medical Center.
Running and swimming are excellent. But cycling, walking on a treadmill or working out on an elliptical can also be beneficial.
Even yoga or tai chi can make a difference if the workout is strenuous enough to elevate your heart rate.
Any combination of endurance exercises that get the large muscle groups moving is going to get results.
Whatever exercise you chose, you should be moving enough to produce a sweat. Runners should be moving at a clip that is fast enough to make talking possible but not easy. A Zumba class can get you the same results, if you are moving fast enough.
“Anything that gets your heart rate up, makes you sweat a little and makes you short of breath,” Levine said.
To improve your overall health and keep your ticker pumping effectively, add strength and stretching exercises to a cardio routine one or two days a week. Yoga is great for stretching, and you can build strength with or without the use of weights.
Commit to exercising regularly and your body will respond.
The heart is a muscle, so you want to strengthen it, but you also want to tone the arteries around the heart, just like you would tone your arms, Clearfield said.
“When you work your biceps, you’ll find it easier to lift things,” he said. “It’s the same thing with your heart.”
With regular exercise, the heart starts pumping more efficiently and your stamina improves. That can pay off in big ways.
If someone is sedentary and one day has to run hard to catch a bus, he may end up having a heart attack, Levine says, as an example. “But for someone who is fit, that’s barely a blip,” he said.
Although the younger you start exercising, the better, you are never too old to get into shape. Someone who is really committed to fitness when they are young could have a heart that is as youthful as a 30-year-old later in life.
If you start at 70, you won’t be able to protect against arteriosclerosis but you can protect your heart against sudden death and see the health benefits of regular exercise, such as lower blood pressure, Levine said.
It takes about six weeks to start seeing an improvement in physical fitness, but the payoff continues over a lifetime, Clearfield said.
“Exercise is great at combating obesity and keeping the heart healthy,” he said. “In the long run that can mean more years of life.”
Expert tips on starting a healthy, heart-wise excercise rountine
We asked three fitness pros from the Amon G. Carter Downtown YMCA to demonstrate three ways to kick off a healthy routine that includes cardio, strength and stretching.
Yoga is one of the best ways to stretch the body, but a lot of people steer clear of this type of exercise because they are afraid it is just too hard to get into those pretzellike poses.
But you don’t have to be limber like a rubber band to benefit from yoga. Poses can be modified, and most teachers are more than willing to do what it takes to make yoga accessible.
Yoga is all about focusing on your mat and not worrying about how flexible your neighbor is. The best way to enjoy the many heart-healthy benefits of yoga, including stress reduction and lower blood pressure, is to just do it.
“Yoga is how you get flexible,” said Lisa Rodriguez, a trainer and instructor at the Downtown YMCA. “You don’t have to start off flexible to do it.”
Two to try at least twice a week:
1. Downward-facing dog – (Watch your dog stretch for hints on how to do this)
What it does: Strengthens shoulders and back. Stretches hamstrings and calves.
What to remember: Breathe through your nose. Keep your core muscles tight, your spine long and your shoulders down.
Kneel on all fours with your hands providing support and your fingers spread like starfish. Lift your hips so your tailbone is pointed toward the ceiling. Your body should be in an upside-down V shape. Shoulders should be down. Your hands and feet should be your foundation. If your hamstrings are less flexible, you can bend your knees to lift your hips up and back. Listen to your body and only stretch as far as you are comfortable.
2. Side gate
What it does: Increases strength, balance and flexibility. Opens hips.
What to remember: Maintain your alignment so you don’t injure your rotator cuff.
From all fours, turn toward one side, bend one leg and use it for support. Raise the other leg, pushing the heel forward and keeping it flexed. Raise your arm to the ceiling, keeping your hand and shoulder aligned, fingers spread. Hold the position for a few seconds.
What it does: Strengthens glutes, thighs and calves
What to remember: Keep your knee behind your toes when bending.
Standing tall, step forward with one leg, bending at the knee. Drop the other leg toward the floor, then slowly return to starting position. Repeat on the other side, working up to 12 reps. If this too easy, try holding light weights in each hand.
What it does: Strengthens chest, triceps and shoulders.
What to remember: Keep core muscles tight
Start on all fours with your spine in a neutral position and hands spread wide apart. Drop toward the floor, keeping your spine straight. Repeat.
What it does: Improves endurance, stamina and heart health
What to remember: Start off slowly and gradually build up. You need to walk fast or run about 30 minutes five times a week for heart health.
For fitness, you need to move fast enough to sweat for 30 minutes.
For interval training, alternate between 1 to 2 minutes of running at 85 percent of your maximum heart rate and 2 to 3 minutes at 65 percent of your maximum heart rate. Repeat for up to 30 minutes.
THE next time you happen to be with your spouse or your partner, take a good look at their features. Do they look a bit familiar?
And no, I don’t mean familiar just because you’ve been with that person for a while. I mean familiar in the sense that you’ve seen those same features, or at least some of them, somewhere else. Like, in the mirror every morning.
If the results of a French study are anything to go by, men are most attracted to women who look like them. That being the case, my partner must have left his glasses at home the day we met. I mean to say, his eyes are blue, while mine are brown, his eyebrows are thick, while mine are thin (too much plucking back in the 70s), his nose is slender, while mine is more rounded, and he has full lips, while mine are lacking plumpness.
I can only conclude that he is more attracted to my wit, charm and personality than some narcissistic ideal. Either that or the female versions of him were a bit thin on the ground when he was looking for a partner.
According to another study, physically attractive people generally date other physically attractive people. Leaving the not-so-attractive people to date other not-so-attractive people. It’s almost like a caste system that’s difficult to break out of.
Right about now you might be asking, “How do these researchers account for those not-so-attractive, rich men who opt for a “trophy wife”? Shouldn’t Donald Trump, Rupert Murdoch and Woody Allen be seen around town with women who are more homely than the much younger, more attractive women who currently appear by their sides?”
It seems that attractive women who date someone below their level of attractiveness tend to justify their choices by saying something like, “He sure is ugly, and it’s kinda embarrassing to have to appear in public with gorilla man, but as long as I have access to his money, my life will be beautiful.”
However, such cases are the exceptions.
In a nutshell then, the so-called experts will have you believe that attractive people generally date other attractive people who look a bit like themselves; while ugly people generally date other ugly people who look a bit like themselves.
When the experts talk about people dating others who look like themselves, this concurs with yet another study that indicates that a woman often looks for a man who looks like her father, while a man often looks for a woman who looks like his mother.
Like, how creepy is all that? Fancy waking up in the morning to find someone resembling your mother or father snoring on the pillow next to you!
Researchers are quick to point out that there is nothing narcissistic about these attractions. We are attracted to people who look like ourselves (and possibly our parents as well) simply because of the comfort we get from familiarity.
I’m not disputing the results of the research, but they certainly don’t apply in my case. My father was an Irishman with light brown hair and green eyes, whereas my ex is a Chinese Malaysian. One of my sisters married a man of Italian origin, another married a Hispanic guy, and yet another married a blond-haired, blue-eyed Scottish man. None of our partners, past or present, look remotely like my father.
Of course, other researchers might tell me that my father was not a good role model and so we were all looking subconsciously for completely different men.
But who gives a toss, anyway?
All of this research into the laws of physical attraction really tells me just one thing: we are wasting a lot of money on studies that can’t be put to any practical use. Unless of course, you’re a fortune teller.
I can just imagine the scene in the fortune teller’s tent as she gazes into her crystal ball, with a young woman sitting opposite her: “Ah, I can see a man with blond hair and blue eyes in your life. He even looks a bit like you. Cross my palm with silver and I will reveal more.”
Most research costs money and is time consuming. As such, I think we ought to be more discerning about how we apply our research funds. Instead of focusing on who we might be attracted to and why, it might be better if the funding could be used to finance research on things like climate change, green energy, and how best to persuade newspaper editors that you really deserve a raise.
Perhaps I can get someone to fund a study on how much money has been wasted on useless studies.
Schoolboys do relaxation exercises in an all boys class at the government-run Shanghai Number Eight High School. Shanghai, whose school system produces the world’s top test-scorers, has launched China’s first all-boys high school program with an eye on elite overseas institutions like Eton. Source: AFP
SHANGHAI: Teenage boys in a Shanghai school are on the front line of teaching reform after the world’s top-scoring education system introduced male-only classes over worries they are lagging girls.
Rows of white-shirted boys are put through their paces as they are called up individually to complete a chemical formula by teacher Shen Huimin, who hopes that a switch to male-only classes will help them overcome their reticence.
“We give boys a chance to change,” she said.
The Shanghai school system topped the Organisation for Economic Co-Operation and Development’s (OECD) worldwide assessment tests of 15-year-olds in 2009, the most recent available, ahead of Korea, Finland, Hong Kong and Singapore.
But even so officials are concerned that some male students may be slower than their female counterparts in development and certain academic areas, such as language, and the shift towards single sex classes aims to boost boys’ confidence.
Girls do better than boys in secondary school across the developed world, an OECD report found.
A prominent Chinese educator, Sun Yunxiao, found the proportion of boys classed among the top scholars in the country’s “gaokao” university entrance exams plunged from 66.2 percent to 39.7 percent between 1999 and 2008.
Across the developed world, girls do better than boys in secondary school, the OECD’s Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) found in a 2009 report on the educational performances of 15-year-olds.
“There are significant gender differences in educational outcomes,” it said, adding that high school graduation rates across the OECD were 87 percent for girls but only 79 percent for boys.
In response, Shanghai’s elite Number Eight High School is halfway through the initial year of an experiment, putting 60 boys into two classes of their own – a quarter of its first-year students – and teaching them with a special curriculum.
Schoolboys solve a math problem in an all boys class at the government-run Shanghai Number Eight High School in Shanghai.
“This is a big breakthrough,” said principal Lu Qisheng. “There’s lots of hope – hope that boys will grow up better.
“Boys when they are young do not spend enough time studying,” he explained. “Boys’ maturity, especially for language and showing self-control, lags behind girls.”
— “We lack confidence” –
China shut most same-sex schools after the Communist Party came to power in 1949, and the only all-boys junior high schools in the country are privately run.
The number of male students scoring top marks in China’s university entrance exams has plunged from 66 per cent to 49 per cent
Shanghai does have an all-girls state-run high school, the former McTyeire School for Girls, which marked its 120th anniversary last year and counts the three Soong sisters – Qing-ling, Ai-ling and Mei-ling – among its former pupils.
Between them they married two leaders and an industrialist. Qing-ling married Sun Yat-sen, the first President of the Republic of China, while Mei-ling wed Chiang Kai-shek, who would also later become president.
Student Li Zhongyang, 15, said he felt less shy about answering questions in his all-boys class, but drew hoots of laughter from his fellows by suggesting an absence of girls let them concentrate more on study.
“We lack confidence,” he said. “The teachers like girls, who answer more questions in class. This programme lets us realise we are not worse than girls.”
It is something of a contrast to males’ traditionally dominant roles in Chinese culture, but principal Lu said the programme “doesn’t have much relationship to equality in society”.
The scheme was launched after China’s government called for more “diversification” in educational choices within the state system.
A Peking University professor has called for an even bolder reform, suggesting in September that boys should start school one or two years later than girls.
“The Chinese education system needs to improve and allow various education methods,” Wu Bihu said on his microblog. Now Lu hopes to create China’s first all-boys school one day.
“Ten or twenty years ago, there was no need for an all-boys class – just put everyone together,” he said.
In an increasingly aspirational society, he added, some families saw the new programme as having connotations of top overseas private schools, and so promising an advantage in the highly competitive gaokao.
“The parents know: England has Eton,” he said. – AFP
Founder: A man can have simultaneous, spiritual sex with wives in separate locations. Sex is the main reason people get married. The climax is like heaven on earth- Hatijah
PETALING JAYA: The Obedient Wives Club (OWC) stirred up fresh controversy when its founder claimed that spiritually, a man can have sex with all his wives simultaneously.
Club founder Hatijah Aam, who is also the author of the controversial book Seks Islam Perangi Yahudi Untuk Kembalikan Seks Islam Kepada Dunia (Sex in Islam Wage War Against Jews To Return Islamic Sex To The World), said that when a man reached the highest spiritual level, “he can appear in multiple apparitions and have sex with his wives even though they are in separate locations”.
“We never said that a man can have an orgy with all his wives on the same bed.
“That is not allowed.
“What we meant is when a man has reached the highest spiritual level, he will be granted the ability to have sex with his wives spiritually,” she said.
“This is how men who were at war in the past satisfied their needs,” she said at a press conference here yesterday from Mecca, Saudi Arabia, via Skype.
The club is going ahead with the global launch of the controversial sex guide despite protests from women’s groups.
Hatijah said the book would soon be launched globally in countries where OWCs have already been set up, including Singapore, Indonesia, Australia, Egypt, Syria, Jordan, Britain and France.
However, the club does not intend to launch the book in Malaysia.
“The book was meant to be circulated among our members only.
“We knew that the public’s reaction to the book would be negative because they do not understand the concept,” said Hatijah, who is also the wife of late Al-Arqam founder Ashaari Muhammad.
Women’s groups like Sisters in Islam, All Women’s Action Society and the Women’s Aid Organisation described the book as a cheap publicity stunt designed to raise the profile of the club.
Hatijah defended the importance of the detailed sex guide on grounds that sex is God’s gift to married couples and they should be educated on the ways to approach it.
“Sex is the main reason people get married. And in a way, the climax is like heaven on earth,” said Hatijah.
She also explained that like praying, sex between married couples was also a pious act.
“So, why can’t we teach people how to do that in a pure way?” she asked.
Taking sex to the PhD-level?
One Man’s Meat
By PHILIP GOLINGAI
The Obedient Wives Club wanted to keep it under the covers but since it leaked out, interest for its sex-guide book has yet to reach a climax.
FRIDAY’S press conference by the Obedient Wives Club (OWC) reminded me of Salt-n-Pepa’s 1991 hit song Let’s Talk About Sex.
The hip-hop song goes: “Let’s talk about sex. Yo, I don’t think we should talk about this. C’mon, why not? People might misunderstand what we’re tryin’ to say, you know? No, but that’s a part of life.”
That about sums up the exasperation of the club embroiled in a controversy after it published a pocket-sized 115-page Malay-language book titled Seks Islam, Perangi Yahudi Untuk Kembalikan Seks Islam Kepada Dunia (Islamic Sex, Fighting Jews to Return Islamic Sex to the World).
Embroiled in controversy: The sex guide which was published by OWC.
To clarify media reports that the book encouraged a man to have an orgy with all of his wives, five OWC officials (including two men) met the press.
At the start of the 90-minute press conference in Petaling Jaya, OWC national chairman in Malaysia Fauziah Ariffin read a statement from Hatijah Aam, the club founder.
Hatijah, one of the wives of the late Al-Arqam founder Ashaari Muhammad, said the sex guide was only for OWC members who were married.
“We are disappointed with those who distributed the book without our knowledge until it created a misunderstanding,” she said.
Fauziah then tackled the controversial issue of “seks serentak (simultaneous sex)”.
“Simultaneous does not mean that on the bed there is one man and four women,” she said with a sarcastic laugh.
“When a man has reached a high level of spirituality, his wali (spiritual guardian) can come in contact with his wives wherever they are.
“Maybe one wife is in Ipoh, another in Kuala Lumpur, in Singapore or in Johor but he can ‘come’ to his wife simultaneously. That is the wonder of spiritual sex.”
Wow! I thought. Note to myself: evolve from missionary position. But was “spiritual sex” possible, I wondered.
As if reading my thoughts, Dr Azlina Jamaluddin, a dentist and OWC leader, said it was not something a common person could comprehend.
“To you there might be no logic to what we are saying,” Dr Azlina explained. “But when Prophet Noah built an ark on a mountain at that time there was no logic in what he was doing.”
Mohd Rasidi, a male member of the panel, claimed what was taught in the book was “high level” sex. “It is PhD-level,” he said.
“To understand the book,” said Fauziah, “the author of the book herself wants to talk to the media via Skype from Mecca.”
And Hatijah’s voice filled the conference room.
In an exasperated tone, the 57-year-old Malaysian woman based in Saudi Arabia said the club purposely did not sell the book to non-members because the public would not be able to comprehend it.
In other words, you and I are practising “kindergarten-level sex” as compared with “PhD-level sex”.
And, quoting the Quran, Hatijah went deep into the theory of “spiritual sex”.
Here are some of Hatijah’s insights on sex.
> If your spirit is pure you can have sex with your wife even though you are abroad fighting a war.
> God allows sex sports. And to be good in sex you need practice.
> Orgasm releases a pain killer and helps with fever. But don’t have affairs on the pretext of curing your fever.
> Orgasm prevents wrinkles.
> Sex can make you younger. Jogging can be replaced by “sexcercise”.
> Only animals have sex without mukadimah (foreplay).
> It is important for a woman’s breasts to be sucked in order to prevent breast cancer (quoting a BBC news report).
During the Q&A session, I asked: “I’m curious, has the panel experienced simultaneous sex? Have you reached the PhD-level of sex?”
And – I’m not sure whether I imagined this – the panel members lowered their heads as if they felt sexually inadequate.
After a hush-hush discussion among themselves, Mohd Rasidi said: “So far, it is a knowledge that we are still trying to understand.
“We have not experienced it as our roh (spirit) has not reached PhD-level,” he explained.
“How about Hatijah?” I asked.
And Azlina, the dentist, said: “We have not experienced it yet. We are still trying. The person who has experienced it is Hatijah Aam. Hopefully one day, God willing, we can reach that level.”
Hatijah also revealed that she was writing a second sex guide book.
“The first book revealed 20% (sex knowledge). But the second book will reveal 100%. But we will make sure the public will not get their hands on this book about heaven on earth,” she added.
Anti-climax in ‘Seks Islam’ book
One Man’s Meat By PHILIP GOLINGAI
The Obedient Wives Club (OWC) controversial pocket-sized Malay-language sex guide sold exclusively to its members is more of a mother’s labour of love for her son who was getting married.
IF I got RM50 for every time someone asked me a copy of Seks Islam, I would be as rich as Alex Comfort, the author of The Joy of Sex.
On Oct 21, in Petaling Jaya, at a press conference organised by Obedient Wives Club (OWC), the author of Seks Islam, Perangi Yahudi Untuk Kembalikan Seks Islam Kepada Dunia (Islamic Sex, Fighting Jews to Return Islamic Sex to the World), Hatijah Aam (pic) gifted the book to journalists.
Speaking via Skype from Mecca in Saudi Arabia, Hatijah, the OWC founder, told the club members: “Please present the book now to the media representatives.”
“We don’t want to hide it. We want to be transparent.
“We want to show that we are not hiding our (sex) knowledge,” she said.
And the dozen or so journalists became proud owners of the controversial pocket-sized Malay-language sex guide sold exclusively to OWC members for RM50.
Instantly, When I – @philipgolingai – “live” tweeted that I had a copy, I received several requests for a copy.
In my office, almost everybody I met was excited over my owning THE book except for this one guy who got aroused for the wrong reason. He thought I had a copy of the Auditor-General’s Report.
It seems everyone I knew lusted for the knowledge on how to graduate from kindergarten-level sex to PhD-level sex.
Who wouldn’t want to read a book advocating “spiritual sex” (a man could “come” spiritually to all his wives simultaneously even though they’re in Ipoh, Kuala Lumpur, Singapore and Johor)?
And, by the day, the book is getting more notorious. Last week, the Sarawak government banned the distribution of Seks Islam in the state.
As my friends flipped through the book, their initial remarks were: “No picture ah?” or “No graphics ah? All words?”.
Sorry to disappoint, but the book isn’t the Comfort’s titillatingly illustrated Joy of Sex.
In fact, the 115-page booklet was a mother’s labour of love for her son who was getting married.
The preamble to Seks Islam – from its research – OWC found that what a woman sexually provided her husband was 10% of what his real sexual needs were.
“The wife thinks her 10% is 100%. She’s also dumb not to want to be taught about sex. She has a prejudiced perception that sex is obscene,” wrote Hatijah.
Chapter one explains why OWC was formed, chapter two talks about Hatijah’s husband, the late Al-Arqam founder Ashaari Muhammad, chapter three about giving 100% loyalty to your husband, chapter four is a guide for the future groom and chapter five is a letter to the bride.
Yawn. Yawn. Nothing that really makes me blush.
Hatijah also explained the difference between a man and a woman.
A man is held hostage by his desire. In order words, just like peeing, when a man has to go, he has to go.
A woman, however, can turn off and turn on her sexual desire as if it were a switch.
“If a wife loves her husband, she must instantly fulfil his sexual needs,” she advocated.
The climax of the book is in its conclusion.
Hatijah writes about her two-month training with Ashaari to become a heroic and angelic wife.
And she revealed her late husband could perform sex simultaneously with his wives, spiritually.
“Intimacy is much more pleasurable and ‘lighter’ through spiritual sex compared with physical sex,” she wrote.
Hatijah writes about seks seren-tak (simultaneous sex) but she does not reveal how to do it spiritually.
Perhaps, as she said in the press conference, what was taught in Seks Islam was just the tip of the iceberg (20%) of her sex knowledge.
So what has the book – as its title suggests – got to do with Jews?
From what I gather Jews have been propagating “extremely pornographic” illicit sex.
Am I missing something in life?
I’m not sure what I was expecting from the book. Techniques on how to please a Uranus chick with eight breasts?
For all its hype, reading the hyped book was an anti-climax.
Poor Sleep in Aging Men Linked to Lower Testosterone
When men reach age 30, testosterone levels begin to drop by 1 to 2 percent annually, researchers say. Coincidentally, many men begin to complain at around age 40 about the quality of their sleep. Are the two linked?
Yes, one new study concludes.
The research revealed a link between testosterone levels in men over 50 and the amount of deep sleep they report.
“Deep sleep is when the recuperation of body and mind is optimal,”said study leader Zoran Sekerovic, a graduate student from the University of Montreal Department of Psychology.
In young men, deep sleep represents 10 to 20 percent of total sleep, Sekerovic explained in a statement. By age 50, it decreases to as little as 5 percent. For men over 60, it can disappear altogether, the study found.
The study didn’t find any correlation with other parts of the sleep ycle: falling asleep, light sleep, or paradoxical sleep, when most dreams occur. Men in their 20s don’t have such a correlation, because their neuronal circuits are intact, the thinking goes.
“With age, there is neuronal loss and the synchronization of cerebral activity isn’t as good, which is why there is a loss of deep sleep,” Sekerovic explained. “Low levels of testosterone intensify the lack of synchronization and can explain 20 percent of men’s inability to experience deep sleep.”
Sekerovic suggests dwindling testosterone levels are what impact sleep,not vice-versa, as other studies have suggested. He adds previous investigations measured daily fluctuations in testosterone levels,which are higher in the morning.
If his findings are true, there could be treatment options.
“The loss of deep sleep is a serious problem that could be treated with testosterone. That would be tremendous progress,” he said. “But hormone therapy can have secondary effects.Therefore, it will be essential to better understand the mechanisms leading to the loss of deep sleep.”
This study, announced Friday, was supervised by Julie Carrier, a professor of psychology at the University of Montreal. The findings were presented at the annual conference of the Association francophone pour le savoir (ACFAS).
Beneficial Effects of Testosterone for Frailty in Older Men Are Short-Lived, Study Finds
ScienceDaily (Nov. 4, 2010) — The beneficial effects of six months of testosterone treatment on muscle mass, strength and quality of life in frail elderly men are not maintained at six months post-treatment, according to a study accepted for publication in The Endocrine Society’s Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism (JCEM).
Frailty is an age-related state of physical limitation caused by the loss of muscle mass and function and can lead to adverse clinical outcomes such as dependency, institutionalization and death. Testosterone levels naturally decline with aging and testosterone replacement is a common therapy. Short-term testosterone treatment in frail elderly men has been shown to improve muscle mass and strength, but until now it has been unclear whether these effects could be maintained post-treatment.
“Since the use of testosterone in elderly men raises concerns regarding adverse effects on the prostate and cardiovascular system, it’s important to determine if short-term treatment can lead to prolonged benefits beyond the duration of testosterone exposure,” said Frederick Wu, MD, of the University of Manchester in the United Kingdom and lead author of the study. “Our findings suggest it may not be possible to break or interrupt the cycle of decline in physical function in frailty by short-term anabolic pharmacological intervention using testosterone supplementation for six months.”
In this study, researchers evaluated 274 intermediate-frail and frail elderly men aged 65-90 years with low testosterone levels. Study participants received either a testosterone gel or placebo for six months. Assessments were carried out at baseline, the end of treatment and six months after treatment cessation. Researchers found that the increased lean body mass, muscle strength and quality of life after six months of testosterone treatment were not maintained six months after treatment.
“At present, the optimal duration of anabolic hormonal intervention to produce sustained benefits in treating frailty in older men is unknown,” said Wu. “To best interrupt the downward spiral into frailty a greater emphasis should be placed on a multi-disciplinary interventional approach including resistance exercise, diet and other lifestyle options, in conjunction with pharmacological agents.”
Other researchers working on the study include: Matthew O’Connell, Steven Roberts, Upendram Srinivas-Shankar, Abdelouahid Tajar, Judith Adams and Jackie Oldham of the University of Manchester in the United Kingdom; and Martin Connolly of the University of Auckland in New Zealand.
The article, “Do the Effects of Testosterone on Muscle Strength, Physical Function, Body Composition and Quality of Life Persist Six Months Post-treatment in Intermediate-Frail and Frail Elderly Men,” will appear in the February 2011 issue of JCEM.
Editor’s Note: This article is not intended to provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.